


Harder Than It Seems (and no, that's not what she said)

by anticommute



Category: Super Junior-M
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4108870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anticommute/pseuds/anticommute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun is an awkward turtle. Literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harder Than It Seems (and no, that's not what she said)

The first time it happens, Zhou Mi's primary reaction is shock.

Well, actually, his first reaction is to nearly drop the turtle he's holding, his second is to keep himself from dropping it, and his third is complete and utter shock, but the details kind of blanched in comparison to the big picture.

("I was more shocked," Kyuhyun grumbles.

Zhou Mi swats him away and throws a stuffed turtle at his head.)

"Um."

The turtle blinks at him.

Zhou Mi blinks back.

"Um?"

This time, the turtle snaps at his finger, and this time, Zhou Mi _does_ drop the turtle with a yelp. It's a good thing he's standing next to a table and it's a much shorter drop than it would have been to the floor, but that doesn't stop Zhou Mi from letting out a high pitched squeak as he quickly uprights the turtle and checks the shell for cracks.

"Can you not?" The turtle seems to be glowering at him and speaking in Kyuhyun's voice—wait. Kyuhyun's voice?

"Kyuhyun?" Zhou Mi ventures, drawing out each syllable hesitantly. He crouches until he's at eye level with the turtle and its beady black eyes.

"Obviously," the turtle says—or rather, his lab partner, if the talking turtle was right and Zhou Mi wasn't hallucinating and this wasn't all a dream—

"Is this a dream? This is a dream isn't it?" Zhou Mi gathers a fold of skin between his fingers, and closing his eyes, pinches hard. "Ow!" Okay. So not a dream.

"Obviously not." The turtle seems to roll his eyes at Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi didn't know that turtles could even _look_ like they were rolling his eyes. But then again, before today, a few minutes ago, Zhou Mi also didn't know that lab partners could turn into turtles. All in all, this was very weird.

"Is this...You turned into a turtle?"

A long-suffering sigh. "Yes."

Okay. Well. That was certainly Kyuhyun. "And, um, this... has happened before?"

"No this is the first time and I'm stuck as a turtle forever and this is why I'm not freaking out— _yes_ , now could you please stop asking awkward questions and turn aro—"

Kyuhyun-the-turtle didn't quite get to finish that sentence, because in the next moment, Kyuhyun-the-very-undressed-human is sitting on the edge of the table and Zhou Mi can't turn around fast enough.

("Next time when someone tells you to stop talking, stop talking." Kyuhyun kicks Zhou Mi in the shins under the table.

"Well how was I supposed to know that was going to happen!?" Zhou Mi yelps. Whether it's in idignation or because he's sure he's going to end up with a bruise there tomorrow is anyone's guess.

"By being smarter," is Kyuhyun's retort.)

"Sooooo," Zhou Mi ventures when both their faces are sufficiently not-red enough to hold an actual conversation and Kyuhyun-the-normal-person is quite clothed. "You turn into a turtle when hugged by...people?"

"Guys," Kyuhyun says, decidedly not looking Zhou Mi in the eye. Zhou Mi doesn't blame him. He can't quite meet Kyuhyun's eyes right now anyway. "Just guys."

"And you turn into a turtle," Zhou Mi repeats. "That's not even physically possible!"

"Well apparently it is, but I wish it wasn't," Kyuhyun retorts. "Anyway, we should finish, you know, what we were doing. The lab. Before you started molesting me."

"I was _hugging_ you," Zhou Mi protests with a frown. "It's very normal!" He sighs and sits anyway, folding his legs onto the bed and pulling his laptop over from where it had been sitting forgotten. "We're almost done though!"

"Yeah, I know," Kyuhyun mumbles. Because that was why Zhou Mi had reached over and wrapped his arms around Kyuhyun in the first place, now that he thought about it.

Actually, now that he thought about it—"You turn into a _turtle_ ," Zhou Mi exclaims. "That's so cute!"

Kyuhyun doesn't manage to push Zhou Mi away fast enough to keep his lab partner from engulfing him with his longer arms and unbounded enthusiasm to see Kyuhyun-as-a-turtle again.

"It's supposed to be a _secret_ ," Kyuhyun bristles when he's finally convinced Zhou Mi to let go of him long enough to turn human.

Zhou Mi just grins at him and nods happily. "I know!" he says. "Don't worry, I can keep your secret."

Kyuhyun sighs, and has never been more glad to be finished a lab in his life. At least they're already halfway through the term. Only half a term left to go of seeing Zhou Mi's stupid face every week and some, and then maybe he can put this humiliating chapter of his life behind him forever.

-

The thing is, if Kyuhyun were to ever be perfectly honest with himself, he doesn't mind spending the three hours a week of first year chemistry labs with Zhou Mi, even if he has a stupid smile and talks too much and has more fancy bags than the average girl.

("No I don't," Zhou Mi protests with a frown when Kyuhyun brings this up one day.

Kyuhyun proceeds to list every bag he owns off on his fingers. Zhou Mi just beams at how knowledgeable Kyuhyun has become.

Kyuhyun stops abruptly and thinks about throttling Zhou Mi instead.)

But Kyuhyun is never particularly honest with himself, and wonders if it's possible to switch lab partners this late in the term instead.

He doesn't even have to flip to page _iv_ (Rules) to know that the answer is no.

-

When Kyuhyun bumps into Zhou Mi at the library coffee shop a few days later, he pointedly ignores the other man in favour of measuring out exactly how much sugar he wants. Zhou Mi doesn't seem to get the hint, stepping up next to Kyuhyun instead, purposely invading his very reasonable personal bubble.

"My friends always told me you were prickly," Zhou Mi says conversationally, "so I was thinking that maybe you should turn into a porcupine instead."

Kyuhyun turns to look at him slowly, wondering if Zhou Mi was really real. He was met with a teasing grin and sparkling eyes. Kyuhyun 'accidentally' steps on Zhou Mi's foot instead and takes his coffee to a study cubicle on the top floor.

("I can't believe you didn't freak out. Normal people would freak out."

"I'm normal people!" Zhou Mi protests this as he rolls over, considering the matter seriously before speaking again. "I think if you turned into a lion or something, I might freak out a little."

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. "You'd probably think my mane was fluffy and call it cute anyway," he decides.

Zhou Mi thinks about this for all of half a second before nodding. "Point," he says. "But a lion really would be much scarier than a turtle.")

"No, but really, you're not very prickly at all."

Kyuhyun looks up to see Zhou Mi peering at him over the top of the cubicle, and resists the urge to throw an eraser at his head. "Don't you have work to do?" he asks.

Zhou Mi shrugs. "I do," he says. "That's why I'm at the library! But this is much more interesting. You should tell me all about it. I'll keep your secret."

"You're my _lab partner_ ," Kyuhyun points out. "Who happens to know something other people don't."

"But we're friends!" Zhou Mi says cheerily.

This time, Kyuhyun _does_ throw the eraser at Zhou Mi's head. It bounces off his glasses and Zhou Mi retreats with a wounded whimper.

Victory is sweet.

Also, Kyuhyun frowns to himself, he is _not_ prickly. He just doesn't like being touched. For obvious reasons. Very obvious reasons.

("But it's like a super power," Zhou Mi muses aloud.

"Do you know the trouble we had to go through every time someone found out? Kids talk too much."

"I don't talk too much," Zhou Mi begins to say, but wilts when Kyuhyun gives him a _look_.)

-

Technically, Kyuhyun is supposed to tell his parents if people find out. So they can fix it. Technically.

He gives his phone a long, hard look before tucking it into his pocket.

Technically.

Besides, it's too late in the term to change lab partners anyway. After all, school protocol is important too.

-

"Titration lab," Zhou Mi announces happily when Kyuhyun makes his way into the lab that evening. "I always liked the titration labs in high school."

Kyuhyun barely suppresses a groan. "I didn't," he mumbles under his breath, but slings his bag under the lab bench anyway, pulling out his goggles. Zhou Mi already has his on, over the glasses he doesn't really need. When Kyuhyun had pointed out the redundancy of wearing a fashion item underneath a big bulky piece of plastic, Zhou Mi had given some explanation about _feeling_ well attired being more important in moments like these, and it had been long winded enough that Kyuhyun had given up if only to get him to shut up.

"Labs are pretty fun, aren't they?" Zhou Mi says as they set up the burrette. Kyuhyun places the beaker of hydrochloric acid he's carrying on the bench, and stares at Zhou Mi.

"I'm only taking this because it's a requirement," he says flatly.

"Well, so am I, but that doesn't mean they can't be fun," Zhou Mi replies, undeterred.

"It's a chemistry lab. A titration lab. Titration labs are boring by definition. You put little drops of clear fluid into a beaker of other clear fluid and wait until it changes colour. Joy."

"But it's still pretty cool. Nothing happens and there's no colour at first and then it's all so fast." Zhou Mi says.

Kyuhyun snickers. "That's what she said." Zhou Mi stares at him blankly. "Never mind," he says with a shake of his head.

There is no mention of turtles for the entire three hours, and Kyuhyun walks out of the lab with a data sheet full of miniscule changes in pH values and thinks that maybe the rest of the term won't be so bad after all.

-

"So," Zhou Mi says when they meet the next day to work on the lab. "Someone said you were an awk—"

"Don't. Say. It."

"—ward turtle. They were more right than they knew?"

Kyuhyun knew that yesterday had been too good to be true.

-

The fourth time it happens—

Well, suffice to say they vow to never speak of it again. Mostly because they both find out more than they ever wanted to know about turtles and sex. Turtles and having sex. Uh, turtles having sex. And in Kyuhyun's case, it had been first hand.

When Yesung asks Zhou Mi if his "friend's turtle" was missing his lady friend by any chance, Kyuhyun gracelessly sprays milk all over Zhou Mi's back and disappears before Zhou Mi can yell at him for it.

To be honest, Zhou Mi is a little glad. He's not sure he can look at Kyuhyun right now. He tells Yesung 'no' with the straightest face he can manage, and excuses himself to the bathroom as well.

("It could always have been worse," Zhou Mi points out.

Kyuhyun glares at him and chucks the turtle back. It misses and bounces off Zhou Mi's chest instead, landing in his lap. Zhou Mi stares at it for a moment before he laughs sheepishly.

"Or not.")

-

The last lab of the term rolls around sooner than they expect. But then again, the last week of classes always tends to. (Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.)

"Exams! I'm not ready for exams!" Zhou Mi says, flopping down on his bed.

At the desk, Kyuhyun is (supposedly) diligently entering data from the lab into his laptop. Except Zhou Mi doesn't think that entering data involves little sprites running around a dark screen, but he's not exactly working either so he can't complain. Kyuhyun gives a non-commital grunt, which Zhou Mi takes as a sign to continue.

"You're only in first year, you wouldn't understand," Zhou Mi says. "When you get old, time starts passing faster. And that means less time to study for exams. But there's never _less_ exams, there's only _more_ exams, and the exams only get harder. Some day, you'll understand too."

"I'm listening," Kyuhyun says in his best 'no I'm not' voice.

"No you're not," Zhou Mi agrees. "And that's not the lab. Shouldn't we work on the lab?"

Kyuhyun shrugs, and sends a collection of strange looking things towards another strange looking thing. "We have time."

Zhou Mi frowns, and launches a stuffed turtle at Kyuhyun's head. " _You_ have time," he says, before realising what just bounced off the back of Kyuhyun's head. He jumps off the bed and grins, waving it in Kyuhyun's face. "Look, it's you!"

"No it's not," Kyuhyun says, barely sparing it a glance.

"What do you mean, it's the spitting image of you!"

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, and finishes demolishing the enemy camp. "I'm better looking," he says, just as Zhou Mi drapes himself all over Kyuhyun 'to compare'. In hindsight, Kyuhyun should've expected it.

But hindsight is twenty-twenty and Kyuhyun the turtle rolls around on his back hissing curses until Zhou Mi finally takes pity on him and flips him over just in time for Kyuhyun to change back.

("What if you _don't_ change back one day?" Zhou Mi asks, worried.

"I don't know," Kyuhyun mumbles around a mouthful of lunch. "I'd rather not find out."

Zhou Mi looks thoughtful for a moment. "Does this mean I shouldn't hug you anymore?"

" _Yes_.")

-

Term ends, exams end, and winter holidays pass by in a lazy haze for Kyuhyun. A lazy, turtle-free haze, because the rest of his friends know better than to cling to him. (Except for Donghae, but Donghae has his own _problems_ , so Donghae is only a problem if they're near a body of water with no one around them, and Kyuhyun learned a long time ago not to let that happen. He has to admit though, seeing Donghae turn into a fish the first time had been pretty amusing.) Zhou Mi flies back to China to spend the New Years with his family in exchange for missing Lunar New Years because of school, and Kyuhyun spends it playing video games and generally being unproductive. All in all, life is good.

Sungmin persuades him to at least go to the Christmas party and be social for once. Kyuhyun ends up going only because Sungmin mentions girls. Kyuhyun doesn't have a problem with girls. He can hug girls. Without turning into a turtle, at least. Sungmin also makes an awkward turtle joke at this point, and spends the next hour getting Kyuhyun out of his shell again. Metaphorically.

So all in all, the holidays pass by uneventfully (except for the part where he walked in on Ryeowook making out with some kid who looked like a middle-schooler—that, Kyuhyun could have lived without), and Kyuhyun goes back to class with only twenty two excited texts from Zhou Mi in about as many hours.

His eyebrows rise a little at this as he slides into a seat, sending back a quick text that no he's not taking chemistry this term why would he be and yes he's taking Microeconomics Theory why are you asking this you already have my schedule—"Oh no you're not," he says aloud. ("Oh, yay," he thinks in some deep, deep, part of his mind that he keeps buried because he really doesn't want to admit that he doesn't mind spending time with Zhou Mi as much as he says he does.)

"Kuixian! How was your holiday?"

"Excuse me?" Kyuhyun blinks. "What did you call me?"

Zhou Mi at least has the decency to look somewhat apologetic as he awkwardly folds himself into the seat next to Kyuhyun, sliding his bag onto the table. "I got tired of my aunts butchering your name so I figured out what your name was in Chinese?" he explains. "But you didn't answer my question. How was your holiday?"

Kyuhyun processes the first part slowly and ignores the second. "Why are you here?"

Zhou Mi shrugs. "Why do you think I wanted your schedule?" he says. "Let's work on the assignments together?"

Kyuhyun wonders why he even bothers. "You talked about me to your aunts?" he asks instead.

"I told them you were an awkward turtle!" Zhou Mi relays gleefully. "But not literally. You know."

Kyuhyun suddenly visualises a colon stuck next to the letter 'D' and wonders if this term will be as odd as the last.

-

To Kyuhyun's relief, it's not.

Zhou Mi only hugs him twice. And the second time had even been accidental.

Not to mention, Zhou Mi really isn't that bad of a partner when the end-of-term assignment rolls around. Even if he does have to explain the Slutsky decomposition more times than he would've liked, but hey, at least it works.

-

"By the way," Zhou Mi says suddenly when they're standing next to the cage with the koalas. "I never asked—why does that happen?"

"Why does what happen," Kyuhyun deadpans. The koala isn't very interesting. It's sleeping. Zhou Mi had spent a good ten minutes talking about how cute it was anyway.

Speaking of whom, Zhou Mi nudges Kyuhyun in the ribs. "You _know_ ," he says. "How did it start?"

"No I don't," Kyuhyun insists, and is more than somewhat relieved when Zhou Mi seems to drop the subject in favour of cooing over the koala again. He's a little surprised that it's taken Zhou Mi this long to ask about it. Not that it's a very interesting answer anyway.

His relief is short-lived. It lasts about as long as it takes for Zhou Mi to discover the existence of a turtle pond at the zoo, dragging Kyuhyun along.

"So cute!" Zhou Mi leans over the railing, peering at one turtle that flips off its rock and into the water with a splash, paddling over to what looks like a large floating rock until it raises its head. "They look like you."

"Can you not?" Kyuhyun complains, standing resolutely a good six feet away from the turtle pond.

"Well, they look like you when you're a turtle?" Zhou Mi amends with a laugh. He turns and grins, and Kyuhyun makes his reluctant way to the railing. The turtles stare at him with their beady eyes. It's as if they know.

"I was seven," he says casually. "And playing tennis. I was really good, don't look at me like that, I won tournaments all the time. But anyway, someone served the ball into my head once and then _it_ happened. There was a turtle nearby. Or something. And. Yeah."

Zhou Mi falls silent for a while, the only sounds being distant children's laughter and the water lapping against the edges of the turtle pond. Kyuhyun fidgets, sneaking glances at Zhou Mi beside him. "Oh, Kuixian," Zhou Mi says eventually. "I didn't know you played tennis."

Kyuhyun thinks about throwing Zhou Mi into the turtle pond. Zhou Mi turns and grins at him. "Okay, now where do you want to go next?"

"Lunch."

Zhou Mi hums in agreement, digging the map of the zoo out of his bag. "Okay. By the way, my roommate is moving out next year and you're moving out of first year residence, do you want to—"

"Lunch first," Kyuhyun says, giving Zhou Mi a little shove. But, he guesses, the idea doesn't sound too bad overall. After all, Zhou Mi already knows he's kind of an awkward... turtle, for lack of a better word.

("I wanted to ask if you were badly hurt!" Zhou Mi insists. "I really did! I just didn't know how to respond, okay. I mean, it was kind of _weird_ , Kuixian."

Kyuhyun simply sighs and rolls over. He doesn't think there's a point in pointing out that there's something else that's much weirder anymore.

That night, he dreams about Zhou Mi turning into a unicorn. When he wakes up, his first thought is _what the actual fuck?_. His second is that it is... oddly fitting. That's when he decides he's agreed to watch the stupid pony show with Zhou Mi one too many times and another two hours of sleep never did anyone any harm.)

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for _harmlessthings@lj at melodicword's musical chairs exchange


End file.
